Forgiveness

So last night Ed says, that is 2 songs in 2 days on your blog. Not fair, I don't want to see songs I want to read what you write. To which I replied, do you even read the words to those songs? He said no. We have had this on going debate for years about music. I hear the words while the majority of the time he just hears the beat etc... Music speaks to me in times when nothing else seems to help. But today I will write my own words....


Paul wrote, "Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 3:13-14


A few months ago, well February to be exact, I did something that I am not proud of. I let my emotions get the best of me and let a situation get way out of hand. It was a moment in my life where I went to the bottom and was so ashamed of what I had done. For a while after it I was pretty hard on myself for a couple of reasons. 1. I had hurt people I had once cared about very much and had a good relationship with and 2. It could have caused someone to stumble in their walk, as I didn't portray myself as the Christian that I claim to be.


I don't tell you this to "brag" about where I have evolved to from this moment but I tell you this to encourage you because I had a hatred for a person that controlled who I was everytime I was around this person and the reasons for that are so juvenile. Most of you that know me know that I am a very passionate person and there was a time when I didn't care what I said and who I said it to. I always made it right in my mind by saying "Well, people always know where I stand" or "At least I tell the truth". But to whose expense did I tell those things to? The one thing I left out was I didn't do it in love. I am told that I was a very intimidating person and that I "scared" people. Holy Moly! I had no clue of that.


Anyway, after this incident (that got blown a little out of proportion) I had to evaluate what kind of person I wanted to be and more so what kind of person God wanted me to be. I sat down one day after this incident and emailed the person to which the offense was directed. My apology wasn't taken very well then. Which was something I was expecting but I thought in my mind my part was done. This week while at work I got to thinking about it again and felt led to email them again just to let them know that I intend to uphold my end of my promise to change who I was around that person. Well here is how that conversation went. I will omit names.


With the upcoming season approaching quickly I wanted to let you know that I intend to commit to my promise that I made to you at the end of last season. I call myself a christian & I did not conduct myself in a christian manner & in turn could have caused someone to stumble in their walk. That was a low point for me but I praise God that he has forgiven me & brought me to a new place in Him. Once again I apologize for any actions I have done in the past & vow to conduct myself in a manner of kindness. I know she may not believe it at this point but I have always loved ____ & still do. I want only the best for her & realize that is a relationship that may always be strained by my actions. I pray that God restores it in His timing. Thank you,Christy Farhar

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Christy:

Thank you so much for those sentiments. I stumble around facebook from time to time and have viewed some of the very inspiring things you have posted on various people's pages. I think those things are a window to your true nature.

I too apologize again for my actions which were also not Christ like and made me feel ashamed and disappointed in myself. I wrote a Bible verse and put it in front of my bench nearly every game last year. It dealt with a loose tongue. Some times it caught my eye and made me stop and think before I spoke. Other times, I rushed to respond when I shouldn't have.

I try every year to do better because we are examples to our players, our fellow coaches, fans, officials, parents, etc. I will try again to do better this year. We all stumble and fall short...

Thank GOD for his grace and mercy for we are all imperfect and can never earn our way into Heaven on our own merits.

Let's both start by forgiving each other and promising to do our best (with GOD's help) this year to be good Christian examples to those around us.

Again, thank you for those good words,


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You have just made my day. I prayed before I sent it that it be received well, & it will have to be with God's help as we are both passionate people. Thank you for your kind words. I will use this as a testament of God's mercy & show people that if Christy Farhar & yourself can forgive anyone can! Lol

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Thank you as well Christy. You don't know how it saddens me to know relationships which once were great, were damaged by the events that transpired over the last 3+ years. I've prayed many, many times that God might heal those. I know what I did and what I didn't do, as does God. I am a Christian, I am also a human being. I make mistakes and I ask God to forgive me and I'm happy you've given me the chance to apologize to you and ask your forgiveness as well.

I hope my current class doesn't see the tears in my eyes as I type this. They are real, I promise you. Certain sermons in church have struck me to the core as well on this subject. I know when God is speaking right at me and it convicts me.


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Christy,
I will make it a point to stop at the scorer's table at our game this year. We can shake hands or I'll offer a hug if you're up for one.


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How cool would that be? God is so good. Once again thank you & have a good day. Christy

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Christy,
My day is going to be great, now!
Thanks for taking the first step. That was a courageous thing to do.



I did leave out a few things involving other people. That is not for me to be involved in. But you see what happened here folks. We both admitted to mistakes but we also both realized our actions weren't of God. I'm not saying everyone needs to go out and find someone they have a strained relationship with and make it right. You have to do what you feel in your heart is right. For me it took lots of prayer on what was right and how to approach it. I talked with Ed about it a lot and he agreed with my decision. I shared the above with a couple of my friends that know the whole situation well and they said to me that it took a lot for me to be able to do that. I tell you friends, it was all God.