My dear friend Susan sent me a link to a blog that was right on. I wanted to share the post with you from Lysa TerKeurst. By the way, I am also a "fried okra mamma"!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Three things every mom should know

I think one of the hardest things about motherhood for me is my tendency to blame myself for the wrong choices my kids sometimes make. The second hardest thing is trying to figure out how to fix their issues.Being a mom is tough. Especially when you are hyper aware the situation your child is in will carry with it great consequences. Never is there a deeper sorrow then that of a mother who feels helpless.So, that's what I'm addressing today based on a comment Marilyn sent in yesterday.

I take great comfort in knowing the advice I'm offering isn't my own. It's straight from God's truth. After all, He knows what it's like to deal with wayward children. He feels our pain. He knows our sorrow.

Marilyn wrote:I need prayers for me and my daughter. Found out Friday she is doing things with her boyfriend I do not approve of. We had a talk and she told me my values are not hers. She has not had an encounter with God like I have. She still feels like she is a good person, whatever that means. I weep for her soul and pray for God to touch her and draw her back to Him. I pray that I am able to let her go into His hands. She is 19 and off at college, old enough to make her own decisions and to deal with the consequences, but I still want to fly out and rescue her from bad decisions. Nobody told me being a parent was so hard!


Oh sweet sister. Boy, do I feel your pain. I too would want to fly out and rescue my daughter. But I'm afraid I'd also want to threaten that boy with what the mama in "Blind Side" said she'd do to her son if he did inappropriate things with a girl.I'm not saying I would actually do what she suggested.I'm just saying I would want to.

Because honest is the way I roll y'all. And Southern women can be as sweet as our tea until you mess with one of our kids. Then we become more like fried okra. Hot. Tough on the outside. All squishy and messy on the inside.

So.I have to set my fried okra response aside and ask what a Jesus girl should do in a situation like this.

Ephesians 6: 10-12 says, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Based on this truth, here are three things us mamas should know:

1. God doesn't call us to find a power within ourselves to face the issues we'll face with our kids.

He calls us to put on His armor because what we are facing is a battle. A battle of epic proportions. His weapons aren't silly little spiritual suggestions that might or might not work. His weapons are certain. His belt of truth. I must park my run away mind in the assurance of God's love for me and my child.His breastplate of right choices. I must stop reacting in the flesh and choose to battle this with my praises and prayers.His gospel of peace. I must walk in the assurance and peace that even when I can't see things changing, God is working on my child's behalf.His shield of faith. I must have faith in God's timing and in His ways.His helmet of Salvation. I must trust God's ultimate desire for my child is for her to have a close relationship with Him. Though this seems like an unlikely part of this process, God will bring good out of even this.His sword which is the Bible. I must read God's love letter to me every day. And hold those truth as the life line between God's security and my shaky heart.And His gift of prayer. I must see prayer not as a last resort but as the very thing God's most courageous followers turn to first.Ephesians 6: 13-18 assures us with these in place, we will be able to stand. These things will help us tap into a power beyond ourselves.

2. The battle isn't against our child and their choices.

It feels like the battle is against our child. Boy does it ever! But, in reality, the battle is against Satan's schemes. There will be some battles we face with our kids that will be impossible to win in the flesh. I suspect in this situation, the more this mom tries to fight against her daughter's choices, the more it will drive this daughter into the arms of her boyfriend. There is something terribly appealing when young lovers feel like they are renegading against the world together. Satan twists truth. He hides consequences. He blinds reality. He has schemes perfectly designed with our weaknesses in mind. Therefore, we have to battle Satan. He's the real enemy here. And because we are Jesus girls, we hold the power for victory in our prayers and praises to God.

3. The battle is taking place in the heavenly realms.

Oh how my fried okra self wants to fight this battle with what I can see. Remember... I would want to do unspeakables to unmentionables. Ahem. But that would fix nothing except land me in jail. So, I must fight this battle with the only thing I have that can reach into the heavenly realm. My praises and prayers. Praises for who God is and prayers for Him to remove Satan's influence in this situation. If ever I'm tempted to doubt how powerful praises and prayers are in battle a quick read of 2 Chronicles 20: 1-24 soothes this mama for sure.I so relate to the feelings expressed in 2 Chronicles 20:12, "For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."And I so want the victory seen in 2 Chronicles 20: 22, "As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against (their enemies), and they were defeated." Verse 27 goes on to say, "...all the men of Judah (and fried okra mamas) returned joyfully to Jerusalem, for the Lord has given them great cause to rejoice over their enemies."The thing that bridges the gap between feeling powerless like verse 12 and the victory in verse 27 is our praises and prayers. I can't fully explain it. But I can proclaim it. Our prayers and our praises are powerful and effective. Yes, being a mom is really tough. But we can take great comfort in knowing we aren't alone. Like I said, one of the biggest things we have in common with God is the struggle of dealing with wayward children.Since God, the perfect parent, has dealt with this since the beginning of time- I think His is the best advice around.